Tips for Families (Birth - 5)

Children are learning from the moment they’re born. More than 85% of a child’s brain is developed by the age of 5. You are your child’s first teacher. You help them learn skills throughout their life. Here are some milestones for school-readiness in New Hampshire.

When you were a child, the focus of school readiness may have been making sure you knew your phone number and how to tie your shoes. Those expectations are now outdated for kindergarten, although it never hurts if your child knows how to do those things. Today, we are most concerned that children have some basic self-help skills by age 5. It can be easy and quick to do these tasks for our children, but it’s important to give them chances to learn these tasks independently. Give your child opportunities every day to practice putting on their clothes and doing up fasteners, wiping after going to the bathroom, and opening food containers and using utensils.

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Social skills are an important part of school readiness. Playing together with other children is a skill we learn by doing. Whether your child is in formal preschool or childcare, find weekly opportunities for your child to interact with and play with other children. It’s time to put those sharing and conversation skills you’ve practiced at home to work. There will be bumps along the road, so don’t give up if playing together seems hard at first.

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Young children often feel overwhelmed by their emotions. They run into new situations every day, and that’s a lot to experience for one small person. By learning to handle their emotions, thoughts, and behavior, they will be ready for success and for the friends they will make at school. You can help by simply being with them and staying calm while they experience big feelings. A time-out when the world gets overwhelming isn’t a punishment, but a chance for a child to regroup when they feel out of control. You can also help your child learn the words for the big feelings they have, and you can teach them language for problem solving when they want to lash out in frustration.

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We know that children will need to follow lots of rules when they get to school. But routines and traditions can also make your life as a parent easier and calmer. When children know what to expect, they feel calm and confident at home and at school. Try out small daily routines into your child’s life, like a daily bedtime ritual or mealtime routines. Make a visual schedule for the day so that children can know what’s coming next before they know how to read or tell time.

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Learning to share doesn’t come naturally. Young children need lots of opportunities to practice. As a parent, you can play simple games that require turn taking skills. In your playtime with your child, practice taking turns and handing toys back and forth. There will be bumps along the way as your child learns to take turns and share, and that’s normal. It can be frustrating when your child doesn’t share and it’s easy to feel like it reflects on you as a parent. Learning to share is a natural struggle for everyone, and it takes time.

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Being able to talk with other people supports children’s social skills. Talking even supports reading skills. When children can have a successful conversation with people outside their families, they feel confident and are less prone to frustration. You can help your child develop their speaking skills by using lots of words during your daily task, like grocery shopping, preparing a meal, and driving to preschool. By taking turns with listening and talking, children learn the rhythm of conversation and speech. Taking turns speaking even before babies can do more than babble or coo helps them learn language and gets them ready to read.

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Understanding and responding to other’s emotions is a key to developing good friendships with peers and good relationships with adults. You can help your child by naming different facial expressions so they can learn to recognize what those expressions mean. Set a standard for kindness in your family and tell your child when you see kindness in the world. For example, “we’re making cookies for our new neighbor to welcome them to the neighborhood” or “you were very kind when you shared your playdoh with your brother.”

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If you’ve been practicing all these skills at home and you’re worried about your child’s development, your child’s doctor or preschool teacher are great resources for helping you determine if extra supports are needed for your child. They can reassure you about where your child should be in their stage of development, or they can refer you for assessment and therapies if needed. Many other parents have been in your shoes before, and they are ready to be part of your village to help. You are never alone in preparing your child for life and school.

Original brochure created by Raising the Valley and the Coos Coalition for Young Children and Families with funding from the Neil and Louise Tillotson Fund, the University of New Hampshire, NH Department of Education, and the NH Department of Health and Human Services. Modification for statewide use and web publication funded by New Hampshire Statewide Family Engagement Center – 2024.

Tips for Families (Birth - 5)

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